Being Proactive

Trial and Error

Fortunately, I am fairly healthy and don’t need to see a Primary Care Physician often. When my Integrative PCP retired, a doctor whose philosophy and method I loved, I faced a challenge establishing a relationship with a new PCP.

With trial and error, I discovered what is important to me. 

• Someone who communicates, helping me understand the meaning of the results of tests. Something more than “Your dexascan (bone strength scan) was about what you would expect for someone your age.”
• Someone who sees me as more than a body … who sees “me” … not just my body
• Someone who is comfortable working with an older population.
• Someone who respects my preference for avoiding medications unless absolutely necessary.
• Someone who genuinely expresses care and compassion … and sometimes goes out of the way to do that.

A Recommendation

I called and scheduled an appointment with a doctor recommended by a friend. She works in a practice specializing in the aging population.

I decided to take the initiative and be proactive in interviewing her. I would reveal my preferences and my life situation. That would give me an opportunity to see how she responds and if we might be a good fit for each other.

The Interview

“I am a person who dislikes taking medications unless absolutely necessary. Here is how I’m handling alternatives and a list of my supplements.”

She didn’t seem put off by this.

“Will this be a problem for you?”

She indicated that she wasn’t knowledgeable about my alternative to bone-strengthening medication, but if another doctor is following me for that and I’m comfortable with it, that’s what’s important.

She passed my first test.

She addressed other issues and the appointment drew to a close.

I asked her if she had time to listen to some of the stresses in my life.

She did.

I told her about caregiving my daughter and attending to her medical needs as well as my own. I went on about the precariousness of our situation, given that we have no family and my daughter falls through the cracks of eligibility for services.

She listened attentively. She responded with compassion, noting that I have a lot on my plate. She suggested that I see a social worker who works in their practice who might know of additional resources to help. Even though I doubt it … I’ve explored every possible resource already … I appreciated her taking this extra step. Besides, it won’t hurt to talk with the social worker.

She passed my second test.

I asked and she shared with me how she came to specialize in working with an older population.

I felt as though we developed the beginnings of a relationship. And having a relationship with my medical practitioners is important to me. I felt good about empowering myself in this interaction.

I will be returning to see her.

Digging Deeper

Next time I see her, I’ll be asking if she has read the book our Sage Sister group is digging into … Atul Gwande’s Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End.

I will engage her in a discussion about how she handles it when a patient has a terminal illness or is nearing the time of transition because their body is just wearing out. I will let her know how I want her to handle these circumstances in my case.

I am hopeful this will deepen our relationship and understanding of each other.

I recently watched a fascinating Ken Burns’ documentary on PBS about the history of the Mayo Clinic. It alerted me to other issues to explore during future appointments. I’m sure you will be reading about that in a future post.