Type Casting

We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection. ~Anias Nin

Living in today’s environment is not easy. Many voices clamor to make sense of this moment in history. Amidst all the clatter, I experience myself being buffeted in many directions. Signposts appear along the way calling me in this direction and that. I write to taste these moments twice as Anias Nin so wisely counsels … to mine the wisdom meant for me.

Contemplative writing is for me a spiritual practice. Heart Ponderings is my Soul Scripting creative process of discernment. Living these moments sometimes many times, growth in wisdom unravels as I write.

I share my journey as a gift and an invitation. May wisdom emerge for all of us.

Wisdom is about knowing with more of yourself. ~Cynthia Bourgeault

The Wisdom of the Dream

Jane Fonda appeared in a recent dream. I shared with my dream group, The Dreamers, that my association with Jane is around her social activism. In my dream, she appeared as a distraction from my major interest, my family and in particular, my two baby grandsons.

Wanting to be polite, I accommodate Jane’s request for time with me while being clear that I have boundaries I will not cross. I follow her as she searches for a car repair shop. We pass by a gasoline station similar to the one my father owned and operated when we lived in Florida (1951-52). That’s what I would have chosen, but she goes on and choses another … one not nearly as appealing to me.

How Do We Become Who We Are?

As the Dreamers worked to flesh out the meaning of my father’s gasoline station, I reflected “How do we really know how we become who we are?”

I credit my being type cast as an Enneagram One Personality (a Reformer with a strong moral compass and high standards coupled with a desire for justice and improvement) with witnessing my father’s refusal to abide by Jim Crow laws mandating segregation and discrimination against African Americans.

At age 9, I had already assumed the family role of “responsible oldest child/good girl/conflict avoider.” And my admiration for my father standing up to evil put me at odds with my survival role. It is a contradiction I carry to this day.

As a sensitive and curious child, I couldn’t understand why there was so much conflict and pain in my family and in the world. So much conflict … so many evils occurring in my lifetime (1942-today), so many people damaged or destroyed. WHY??? What’s the point?

• WWII, the Viet Nam War, the Iraq War, and many more not-so-famous skirmishes
• The dropping of the atomic bomb followed by nuclear weapon proliferation
• The Holocaust
• My alcoholic grandfather’s violence and my grandparent’s divorce
• The Cold War with its threats to democracy coupled with the possibility of nuclear annihilation
• Continuing violence against people who are different, especially with dark skin
• The containment of women
• My mother’s unhappiness and critical demeanor toward her family
• My father feeling unloved by my mother
• My fear he would leave us

Meeting the Moment

Admired personal friends resisted, protested, and marched:

• Kathryn, a seminary friend of 50 years, in her early 20s actively supported the work of Gloria Steinem and others in the 60s who worked to obtain rights for women. I met Kathryn almost ten years later, when I was 33. She assisted in opening my eyes to the effects on me and other women resulting from the cultural containment of women.
• Pam, another friend from Seminary, a prophetic voice who eventually taught Christian Ethics, travelled the world, sometimes to dangerous areas, advocating for justice and peace. Her book, Globalization at What Price? Economic Change and Daily Life, served as a textbook in classes as far away as South Africa. Her analysis is relevant to our situation today and her influence continues.
• Margie, a Living-in-Process friend from 1984, protested the Viet Nam war and when the war ended, a high-ranking military neighbor of hers validated the rightness of her actions. The most I did was wear a necklace with the message, “War is not healthy for children and other living beings.” (Margie died recently. At the end of her life, she advocated for Universal Healthcare.)
• Ani, an Imago Colleague and friend of approximately 15 years … only months younger than I, defied her parents when she crawled out of her bedroom window in August of 1963 to attend the famous March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. It was there “I Have a Dream” flowed forth from the lips of Martin Luther King, Jr. and etched itself into history. I didn’t even know it happened until it was over.

Even the slightest good that we do matters. Now more than ever. ~Caroline Myss

And so, inspired by my friends and other Enneagram One Reformers I admire … like Jane Fonda, Mahatma Ghandi, Nelson Mandela … who stepped up to the plate to meet the moment, I launched into my own attempts to follow their example … in 2017 and 2025.

With Perfection

Enneagram One’s are also known as Perfectionists. We “Reformers” like things to be orderly. Messy messes with us.

And guess what … LIFE IS MESSY!

As one of my favorite Enneagram One Reformers, Richard Rohr, describes so accurately in a recent daily meditation:

Almost all humans have a compulsion to fixate almost entirely on what’s wrong, which is why so many people become fearful, hate-filled, and wrapped around their negative commentaries. This pattern must be recognized early and definitively. Peace of mind is an oxymoron. When we’re in our mind, we’re hardly ever at peace; when we’re at peace, we’re never only in our mind. ~Richard Rohr

To grow, we have to learn to deal with messy … especially if we are an Enneagram One.

Stay tuned …

How do you relate?