A Journey of Empowerment

This series of posts shows my evolution as a person of spirit and sheds light on the perspectives that guide me.

I count myself as very fortunate to have met, trained with, or been exposed to some extraordinary people who challenged, stretched, validated, and empowered me. I hope you’ll be thinking about your major influencers as you read about mine … and will share about them in the comments.

As I prepare to upload this post, I have just finished watching the memorial service for 100-year-old Jimmy Carter … our 39^th President (1977-1981). It took me on a trip down memory lane.

Virtually unknown nationally, Carter’s campaign for the presidency began during my second year as a seminary student. Several of my friends took note and a number of spirited conversations ensued.

Watching today brought back precious memories. With his deep faith and integrity, my friends and I were attracted to Carter. However, I was not aware of the extent of his advocacy for women until it was recountedd in his memorial service. He strove to embody some of what I learned from Anne Wilson Schaef, a major empowerer of mine, That isn’t easy for a politician.

In the late 70s through the early 90s

Sometime during my Seminary education, I was introduced to Anne Wilson Schaef, author of Women’s Reality. A sister student attended a conference where Anne spoke. She taped the speech and invited a group of us women students to listen to the recording. We sat on the grass under the trees in the oval next to the drive around the five buildings on our campus. We were very enthused about what we heard.

Anne’s analysis of cultural systems helped us understand our experience in the church. Women knocking on the door of this male-dominated institution were not warmly welcomed. On a personal level, it hurt and left us bewildered.

As active laywomen in local congregations, we were highly valued … we were “in our place.” We took our spiritual journeys seriously. We just wanted to be faithful to the way we experienced The Divine working in our lives … to our callings. How could that be offensive to the “powers that be?”

Anne helped us see that the “powers that be” hold a different perspective … a different way of relating to the world … exactly because they are the “powers that be” … the ones who hold the power. Holding power can and often is addictive, as this article she wrote points out.

I wrote a paper for my New Testament class called, “A System’s Analysis of the Apostle Paul” using Anne’s System’s Theory. Paul’s emphasis on the ministry of the laity indicated to me that he envisioned the church operating from a “power with” system.

My paper made the rounds among the professors, found it’s way to the University of Dayton, and was eventually published in a couple of small UD journals. I was invited by a group of feminist theologians to present it to their group.

The biggest thrill for me was being seen as an adventurous thinker. One of those UD Journals was titled: Journal for Adventurous Thinking. 🙂

Training with Anne in Living-in-Process

Through a series of synchronicities in 1983 while I was serving a church as an associate pastor, I had the opportunity to attend a “Living-in-Process” weekend under Anne’s leadership. There I learned of her training program … a spiritually-based, wholistically-oriented healing modality. Others in attendance who had been accepted into the program told me about it and encouraged me to apply.

It was a powerful weekend. I did apply and was accepted. In 1984 I began the training and stayed involved in the Living-in-Process Network until the early 90s. During that time, Anne wrote five more books. By the time of her death in 2020, she had written 14 more.

The years I was associated with Anne were tough years in my life. I credit her and her spiritually-based Living-in-Process healing modality with saving my life and my sanity.

And what I want to emphasize here is what I learned about power dynamics from her … about how what we believe affects what we see and how we behave. Mostly we are unaware of this. It just appears to be the way things are.

Power Dynamics

Power Over = The dynamics in competitive, hierarchical systems

• My way of being in the world is innately superior
• I compete with others to win
• I assume that I have ownership, power, knowledge, & leadership
• When something goes wrong, I blame others
• Logical & rational thinking determines how I act
• I do not tolerate diversity – other ways of being in the world
• When working with others, I stick to the acts and push for a decision
• I am aggressive
• I am important because I perform well

Power Under = reactive dynamics of victims in survival mode

• My way of being in the world is innately inferior
• I compete with others who are also inferior for the approval of superior others
• I deny that I have ownership, power, knowledge, & leadership
• When something goes wrong, I accept the blame
• My emotions determine how I act
• I find diversity threatening
• When I work with others, I sabotage the decision-making process
• I am passive or passive-aggressive
• I am important only when I am related to or approved by someone superior

Power With = relational dynamics in spiritually-based systems

• My way of being works for me … it doesn’t necessarily work for others
• I cooperate with others for the mutual benefit of all
• I share ownership, power, knowledge, & leadership
• When something goes wrong, I respond, admit to my part, & help find a better way for all involved
• I employ logical/rational thinking + my emotions in determining how I act
• I am enriched by diversity
• When I work with others, I allow the process to unfold
• I am assertive
• I am important because of who I am … and so are you. I like relating to others.

On Being Empowered

When I began my training in 1984, I was embarrassed to find myself predominantly in the Power Under/Survival & Victimization column. As a shame-based self-deprecator and conflict avoider, my challenge was and continues to be daunting. Personally, and professionally, I am confronted with the need to develop a mindset and the skills to affirm my worth and assert my positions.

I write because it is the only way I can breathe. ~Gayle Brandeis

I felt Divinely guided to that training with Anne. Her modality combines the inner and the outer in a powerful way. My primary spiritual practice, self-reflective writing (inner), undergirds my actions to change my thinking and behavior … personally and professionally (outer).

Trust the Process

I find myself challenged to change my perspective and behavior over and over again as I face deeper levels of constriction in my ability to handle the pain within me and in the world-at-large. It seems to be the way growth and transformation occurs. I have to remind myself often of our Living-in-Process mantra: “Trust the Process.”

We are living in a time of tension as cultural and political systems clash. If you are a conflict avoider like me, tension outside creates even more tension inside. I must remind myself often to “Trust the Process.”

Something new is being born and birthing is never an easy process. May we approach this time of change and upheaval at the level of our “SOUL” … our only truly trustworthy guide.

How do you relate to “power over/under/with”?

How does this perspective fit with your journey?

How do you experience your “SOUL” leading you?