The whole universe and all events are sacred (doorways to the divine) for those who know how to see. In other words, everything that happens is potentially sacred if you allow it to be. ~Richard Rohr
I mentioned in my last post that one of the readers of my memoir, A Long Awakening to Grace, challenged me to dig deeper into my story. In the process of excavating, I invited my forty-four-year-old daughter to have a talk with me.
When I trained in Imago Relationship Therapy, we learned a valuable listening skill called “The Intentional Dialogue.” We were taught to leave our own world behind, our perceptions, thoughts, and feelings, in order to enter and be present to the world of another. Listening deeply in this way gives us an opportunity to understand the other person at the level of their soul. It can be quite revealing. I decided to use this skill during our talk, which proved to be a “doorway to the divine.”
After taking our places in my living room, I began, “I’d like you to tell me what it was like for you as a child having me for a mother.”
Being in my daughter’s world was heartbreaking as I listened to the depth of her anguish–sacred moments of truth telling. And then her magnanimous soul emerged. She gave me an unanticipated gift of grace–understanding and forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. ~Paul Boese
My daughter received an empathetic response from me as I validated her reality. I received her understanding and forgiveness, thus allowing me to forgive myself. Our future is enlarged. If my memoir does nothing else, the writing has proved to be healing for both of us. And that is a lot! I am filled with awe and gratitude.
Very courageous, Linda, and very rewarding.
Thank you, Alice. I would never have discovered my daughter’s magnanimous soul had I not had the courage to ask the question. It was an awesome experience.
Very moving story and a deep healing and connecting for both of you.
Thank you, Jasmine. Yes, you are right. The healing was deep. This whole process has been so amazing.
Bravo, Linda. You are an inspiration in your journey of self discovery! Thank you and I love you.
Penny, This means so much coming from you. You know my story well. Love to you.
Ah…the beauty and power of validation. What a gift for you both…and now for others. Thank you.
Thank you, Bonnie. I sincerely hope my story will be a gift to others as writing about it has been for me and my daughter. I appreciate your acknowledging that about this post.
Dearest Linda,
This is such a profound and, in my opinion, the deepest and finest level of communication one can share with another. My heart swells with joy for you and your daughter. Yours is one of the very best, if not the best posting, I’ve read this year and probably beyond. To truly hear and be heard… what if we could each do that for each other?
Mary Jo, I’m touched beyond words by your comment. I agree. I think most of us just want to be seen and heard by others and it is a great gift of love to offer it to another. Thank you for your validation and kind words. They mean a lot to me.
Dear Linda,
Thank you for sharing your deep and profound process of healing with your daughter. I agree that when we listen deeply with our heart and not our preconcieved ideas about another, the soul emerges and transformation can happen spontaneously as did in this diaogue with your daughter. Many blessings for your continued journey into the depths of soul healing!
Much love, prema
Thank you, Prema, We both know a lot about soul healing. I appreciate your support as we journey forward. This life is certainly full of opportunities to awaken and grow.