Revealing My Dawning Awareness

Back to Wednesday, October 3

Once I understood Nicole’s eligibility for Medicare Dual Advantage plans … the vision, dental, and over-the-counter benefits involved … the benefits she lost when moving into Assisted Living … and that Medicaid would pick up out-of-pocket expenses … I was excited. And I needed her approval to proceed with getting her signed up.

I called Nicole. “I just want you to know what a fantastic mother you have!”

When she heard the benefits, she got excited, too, and genuinely thanked me. I could feel the emotion in her voice, something rarely experienced. She gave me approval for moving forward.

I realized after two exhausting, time-consuming, confusing, and frustrating days advocating for my daughter, that she is one of the “least of these.”

Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these, you did it to me.”

~Jesus of Nazareth in Matthew 25:40

I am associated with a denomination that emphasizes the importance of social activism for these unknown impoverished, ailing, and imprisoned “least of these.” I often feel guilty for not doing enough.

I also learned these past days that few of the “least of these” are able to successfully navigate the Medicaid / Medicare system. I doubt they are clearly informed of their options and helped to find the best one in their situation. It is so complicated, so time-consuming, so full of roadblocks, and so frustrating, most people … probably with fewer resources than I possess … just give up. I certainly was tempted many times.

My heart goes out to them.

Reflecting on all this, it finally dawned on me that just because my “least of these” daughter is the one for whom I advocate … it still counts. I am still fulfilling and being faithful to Jesus’ principles.

That realization gives me a lot of peace.

An Additional Gift

Even before my 80^th birthday, I kept a check on my cognitive abilities, concerned about how much I may be declining. During this last month I’ve had to deal with

• Overcharges on my credit card statement
• Filing two disputes with my bank
• Filing a complaint with the FCC
• Changing automatic payments to manual payments for that credit card
• Figuring out Medicaid and Medicare Insurance Plans
• Finding my checking account charged for a payment on my credit card I did not authorize
• Checking with the bank’s dispute department to see if it was related … it was not. Their investigation is ongoing
• Being connected to the credit card services department and a customer service agent who did not seem to know what she is doing … gave an explanation that made no sense to me … having to explain to her that I changed the automatic payment back to manual … it was the bank’s fault … not mine!! And having to wait 5-7 days for it to be credited back to my checking account.
• Finally hearing from my internet provider that I was RIGHT about their overcharge and resolving my issue with them. Filing an FCC complaint got their attention.

My mind may be slower, but I am still sharp cognitively! That’s a gift and good to know! 

Letting Go of Expectations

This is a painful lesson I seem to need to learn over and over. I often don’t even know I have expectations until they aren’t met.

As I pondered the MELTDOWNS I experienced in this process, I realized it comes back to expectations. In addition to letting go of things I can’t control. I need to let go of expectations … expectation that systems with CARE in their names (My CARE Ohio and healthCARE) will demonstrate caring. For the majority, it’s just a job.

I carry sadness about that … and anger … because I worked in one of those systems and I witnessed “caring” going down the tubes when “managed care” was instituted … when healthcare transitioned from Patient Centered to profit centered.

And so I need to send up waves of gratitude for the few people working in an inhumane system who actually find it within themselves to extend caring and compassion.

It compels me to be more conscious of my interactions with others. In our increasingly impersonal world, I probably do not do as well as I need to in extending care to others. An important lesson for us all.

I won’t truly relax until I have disenrolled Nicole from My Care Ohio and enrolled her in the Company Blue plan! Whew!!

I am in the process of developing a handout, STEPS IN THE PROCESS. If you or someone you know would find it helpful in navigating the system, let me know and I will see that you get it.