In my last post, I wrote about the experience of becoming a leader in my congregation. That experience set me on a path I never could have imagined. It was definitely Divinely guided. And it took some generous friends and professionals to see in me what I could not see in myself … who nurtured me in my growing-up process. For them I am eternally grateful.
When I started Seminary in 1975 at 33 years of age, I had barely begun to grow. Even though I grew into a leader in my local church, I wasn’t sure I could do graduate work. So, I took one course a quarter for the first year to see. The first course I registered for terrified me. I thought “Woman, Man, and the Sexual Revolution” would confirm something I feared … that I was inadequate as a woman.
Instead, that class raised my consciousness to all the messages we women get that we aren’t okay the way we are. And it was in that class that I was gifted by classmates with the name, Emerging Butterfly. My whole seminary experience was one of emerging closer to the fullness of who I am.
My Emerging Ministry
When I graduated in 1979, my intention was to serve as a retreat facilitator. Below is the scripture that guided my ministry:
“I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”
~John 10:10
I viewed retreats as a time set apart for giving full attention to our spiritual journey. However, with the exception of ordained ministers, those lay folks who called for my services as a retreat minister just wanted this to be a time set apart to have fun.
Changing Course
Even though retreat ministry left me disillusioned, I was open to my call and ministry evolving. And it did. While serving as a Field Education Supervisor for 6 years following my graduation, I took as many pastoral counseling courses as possible.
After my training in Living in Process with Anne Wilson Schaef in 1982-83 and beginning to work a 12-Step program, I experienced a call to serve as a Family Therapist for those facing the pain of addiction.
Witnessing other counselors in a treatment center working with families in 1985, I was deeply moved. I had often wished my family of origin, scarred by my grandfather’s alcoholism, would show their love for each other by being as open and honest as I witnessed these brave families being. My whole body registered, “This is the work I am called to do.”
I followed my leading again by expanding my skills in the early 90’s. I trained in Imago Relationship Therapy with Harville Hendrix and his extraordinary master trainers. When Managed Care decimated my work as a family therapist, these trainings prepared me to expand my ministry as a relationship counselor, coach, and educator.
Most of those who sought my services in those venues were on a spiritual journey, even though many were unaware. To my great pleasure, they were ready to dive in deeply … which fit with my calling.
I found it meaningful when clients embraced growth. It was a joy to witness their spirits come alive as they gained skills to bring out the best in themselves and their relationships.
Emerging in Vogue
The spirit of emergence laid the foundation for every iteration of my ministry. The calling changed in form. And I continued to visualize and facilitate emerging into fullness of life.
It gives me hope to find how prominent some form of the word “emerging” is these days. I hear or read it all the time. It is especially favored in the “Emergence of Consciousness” realm. I was gifted with this guiding principle for my life and ministry almost 50 years ago. Finally, it is beginning to be recognized as vital for the health of our culture at large.
Reminiscing
I was 26 and very immature when I began this journey in my local congregation. I had to grow beyond my “good little girl” survival mechanisms as well as my victim mentality. With the help of many people over the years, I began to listen and heed the still small voice of wisdom within, to make wise decisions and put them into actions consistent with mySELF, my temperament and gifts, my values, and the life I am called to live.
I am a work-in-progress. I had a taste of my “higher, most wise” True Self twenty-five years ago. I continue to face challenges … don’t we all … and I am grateful that I am able to be thoughtful and respond with my values rather than react.
These professional experiences helped me grow up and face the challenges in my personal life in a way that shows growth in wisdom. I learned the hard way that adhering to cultural norms often runs counter to who we’ve been created to be.
I hope my reminiscing about these life experiences of mine remind you of your journey. I hope you will see and honor your own path of emerging into fullness of life.
Why Emerging Matters
To me, it is vitally important to grow beyond the limitations of childhood survival mechanisms and cultural norms that do not fit. In my experience, when I tune into a power greater than myself, the resources and empowerment I need to live life fully appear in unimaginable and synchronistic ways.
I think about things like this a lot these days because some in high places are trying to legislate medieval roles that make caricatures of us. They want to take away our choices over our life paths, regardless of how Divinely inspired they might be.
To me, this archaic worldview is an example of blind and stunted spiritual growth. As we grow spiritually, our perspectives widen, our love and awe of humanity and all that lives and breathes deepens, our “oneness with all” emerges from a concept to a personal experience, and our responsibility to serve the greater good becomes a joyful mandate.
As I view this time in our history, I see a need for all of us to be serious about growing spiritually. In our time, more and more of us need to be a part of the emergence of Divine Wisdom within. We need to develop Penthouse / 7th Mansion Wisdom.
So much depends on it.
P.S.: I’m feeling more hopeful after the events of the past two weeks. I’m seeing some of our leaders make wise choices. Now it’s really up to us!!
I was in my 60s and hovering over the abyss of just “settling”, when I found this quote from Anais Nin:
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
And I realized that that was what I had been – tight, in a bud, in the grip of a religion that no longer served me, but which I had lacked the courage to leave. That quote was the impetus for me to take a twelve week-end course (over two years) called Journeys of Wisdom, on finding myself, and ultimately having the courage to tell my mother that I was leaving the religion that was everything to her.
And that opened the floodgates of being free to explore different religions, different spiritual schools of thought that I would never even have heard of, enriching my life immeasurably.
Thank you for asking me to take a good look at this, Linda. You are a “found treasure”!
Dear friend, please forgive me for taking so long to respond to your comment. Words have not been coming easy to me the past few weeks. Thank you so much for honoring me with the story of your emerging. I have carried it with me these past several weeks. That quote by Anais Nin has meant a lot to me, also. I am surprised to hear that this is your first good look at this. I knew a part of your story, but to see the depth of it now is wondrous. How wonderful that this humongous change is seen more fully now. And I know that you have gathered a new spiritual community of like-spirited women around you. What a gift for you and for them. Thank you again for sharing so deeply!!! You are an inspiration!
Spending time in India with Satya Sai Babba changed me forever. Babba gave me the experience of unconditional love. He also gave me the experience of Unity Consciousness which has changed my life forever. Once you see the light and awaken to the true meaning of who we are, you can’t unsee the Truth.
Dear Prema … one month later I find your comment. Wish my blog site had a better system of alerting me to comments. As I shared with Ruth, words have not been coming easily to me the past few weeks, and thus I have not visited my site for comments. I appreciate your honoring me with your story of emerging. Such a gift … unconditional love that awakened you to the true meaning of who you are … your oneness with all. It is so interesting the diversity of ways the Spirit works in our lives, leading us to just the teacher and path we need to emerge into we truly are. Thank you again for honoring me with your story of emerging.