A Life Well Lived!

Marguerite Ann (Schaedel) Rece … 12/5/34 – 6/13/24

As promised in my last post, I will share more about Margie’s life with the help of the obituary her oldest daughter, Julie, wrote … words that captured her mother’s spirit so poignantly.

Surrounded by the love of family

Margie died peacefully in a Center for Alzheimer’s disease. As her dementia became evident and progressed, her three kids (Julie, Will, and Katie) worked together to show their love-in-action by managing her finances, providing direct care, arranging care resources, making frequent visits, along with weekly Zoom calls. They miss their loving mother greatly.

In addition to her three children, Margie is survived by four grandchildren and one great grandchild, a brother and several nieces and nephews. Her former husband made his transition just four months before her own.

Life-Long Learner & Lover of …

Margie attended Hempstead High School (Long Island, NY), Hiram College, the University of Arizona as a Danforth Graduate Fellowship Recipient (where she and Anne Wilson Schaef met), Yale University, and the Medical College of Georgia where she earned a BS in Nursing.

She loved nature, gardening, walking, reading, knitting, singing, and creating. She delighted in figuring out how to repurpose an item. She passed many of her passions down to her kids and grandkids.

She also loved to travel. Her trusty canine buddies, Genie and Sundance, often accompanied her.

Margie & Genie on their Augusta deck

A Tireless Champion for Social Justice

As a charismatic advocate for those in need, Margie dedicated her life to bettering the lives of others. As a force of nature, she volunteered in the mission towards racial equality with Martin Luther King, Jr’s Southern Christian Leadership Conference and the early days of Head Start. She joined the Augusta (GA) Quaker Meeting and formally embraced pacificism as an extension of her faith. She served as a long-time member of the Board of Directors of American Friends Service Committee.

She campaigned against the death penalty and visited those in prison. She wrote hundreds of letters to those imprisoned abroad for Amnesty International.

She knit countless sweaters for refugee children under the auspices of the American Friends Service Committee. She marched on Washington as part of the Poor People’s Campaign for economic justice.

Margie organized and attended peace vigils during the Vietnam War and counseled young Conscientious Objectors. As an RN for the VA, she worked with veterans of that war suffering from PTSD. Later in private practice, she worked with other victims of trauma.

She tirelessly advocated for Universal Healthcare, traveling to Cuba and South Africa in support of this cause.

She was obviously a woman of compassion, conviction, and courage!

Julie calls her mother “a force of nature.” And indeed she was.

Imagine!

Can’t you just imagine the stories behind those facts about Margie’s life? What a good read and an inspiring memoir that would make!!!

One of her stories remains a vivid recollection for me. Margie walked her neighborhood in Augusta almost daily. Even though she and the inhabitant of one of the homes she  passed never spoke, she knew a high-ranking military man lived there. Occasionally she saw him working in his yard.

He apparently was aware of the peace vigils she organized during the time of the Viet Nam War. One day, long after the war ended, she passed his house and he approached her.

Not sure what he wanted or would say to her, she was stunned and pleased when he said, “You were right!”

Margie definitely surpassed her life’s mission of making the lives of others better. Because she lived, the world is a better place.

And here’s more ways she achieved her mission.

 A Relational Powerhouse

Nothing made Margie happier than reconnecting with friends and loved ones. She was a great letter writer. She kept in touch with long letters, calls, and visits with friends and loved ones over many years.

When her parents grew older, she made many trips to Virginia to visit them and her brother and his family. She visited her kids and grandkids often, sharing good times and tough ones as well … showing her love-in-action.

She helped organize Danforth Graduate reunions and stayed in close touch with Living-in-Process trainees through active involvement in regional groups in Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, and Wisconsin as well as the wider community throughout the country.

Training Group Rehearsal for Serenading Anne Wilson Schaef on her 50th Birthday … Margie is on the far right … we didn’t come prepared with decorations, so toilet paper sufficed.

Gifting Anne (in blue) with Hymn Singing. Margie on the right.

Sharing Our Inner Lives

And what I cherish most is sharing joys and tender moments of vulnerability with Margie.

I visited her the week following the wedding of her youngest daughter. She was full of joy and shared so extensively, that I almost felt as though I’d attended. She bubbled with excitement as we went (an here memory fails me) to the train or bus station to pick them up following their honeymoon.

Feeling totally accepted and valued, Margie and I felt free to share with each other our insecurities, doubts and misgivings about ourselves … about the end of our marriages … about our concerns for our children and our doubts about ourselves as mothers … about the loss of our infant granddaughters.

I felt honored with the trust she bestowed by sharing so deeply and authentically. And Margie was a very good listener. I felt seen, accepted, and valued after a conversation with her.

My spirit lifted and I gained strength to keep on truckin’ and inspired to continue the journey of becoming an even fuller human being.

Alzheimer’s robbed Margie and me of these cherished shared moments. She is the second dear friend to succumb to this horrible disease.

My only regret is that I didn’t stay in touch in some way with Margie through her years of decline. When her daughter, Julie, called and revealed the special moments of contact she shared with her mother, moments when she could tell that her mother was still in there somewhere, I began to sense how I’d failed my friend … how I’d lost the opportunity to be love-in-action for her … to let her know how much she meant to me. She deserved better.

And so, even in death, Margie inspires me to grow and become a better person.

The world and my world is, indeed, a better place because she lived. Her legacy lives on in the hearts of many.